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[25 Feb 2008|01:02am] |
I haven't written on this in a really long time. Mostly because in November i found a really great journal, and desperately missed actually physically writing out everything that i thought and felt. I haven't worked in a month. I've handed out my resume' and filled out countless applications. All of the dressing up, being overly polite bullshit didn't even pay off. I'm so broke right now. A year ago being broke was not being able to afford to buy beer, now it means i'm racking myself up some good old fashion debt. No matter what i do, i can't keep myself financially stable. I can't pay any of my bills, and i have no income. My parents helping me isn't even an option. I feel like a moron. How are other people able to keep their shit together? Why can't i find a normal steady fucking job.
I've been getting photography jobs here and there, but $150 every other week or so isn't shit.
My new journal.
My Photography portfolio/recent work:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ninawkward/sets/72157603676851562/show/
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[26 Oct 2007|04:34am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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Instead of being Neil from the young ones, I'm going to be Amelia Earhart.
Easier/more fun + i have an excuse to wear goggles.
I'm a creep. I want to talk to Alex tomorrow and tell him that i found him a bike frame, But i don't have work, and he does, and I don't want to just randomly show up on a day that i don't have work JUST to talk to him. Which is exactly what i want to do. I really hope we ride up south st during critical mass-carade tomorrow.
I've been missing the shit out of my physical therapy appointments. I haven't been to one in about a week and a half. I should stop being such a moron and just go. I don't have an excuse not to go, its so close to me, but I'm always pussyfootin' around before work and wind up cutting to close to when i have to be in work for me to have enough time.
New things:
Credit Card - This is weird, having this shitty piece of plastic makes me feel like an " adult "
Is it sad that a plastic debt trapping device makes me feel grown up?
I guess i need one, if i want to build credit and move out, etc.
Cell Phone(REAL ONE!) - It's not actually here yet. But It's well on its way. Again, strange. I'm not going to have to rely on my friends and sometimes random strangers to get in contact with people, AND I will now be much easier to get a hold of. No more of that, " I don't have minutes " or " I can't even see who's calling me because i don't have minutes! " or "Call me back on my house phone" or " don't call this number back, it's not mine " or " you can't drunk dial me at 3 45am because my parents are asleep ". EDIT : I'll have a new cell phone number as well, which i'll be posting when i get it.
Having a job - I thought having a job would add a little balance in my life. It did the exact opposite. I also thought it'd force me into a semi-normal sleeping pattern, Again, exact opposite. I don't have to be in work until 6:30pm, and i usually don't get done until 12:00am.
Big scar on the back of my head due to having my staples removed/head split open - It rules.
Everything i expected and than some. I really hope that when people see the back of my head that they get creeped out.
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[23 Oct 2007|04:22am] |
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music |
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Lauren Adams - smart girls |
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Did i already talk about my fucked up vag?
More than likely, It's been bleeding every two weeks for the past two months.
Do you know what that means? I get my period TWICE A MONTH. That can't be good/normal. It's really annoying and pisses me off a whole lot.
Way too much information? Probably. I should get my snatch checked out.
Tonight ruled. Naughty Naughty Nurses with Julian at planet mollie. so good.
I haven't really been to a west Philly basement show in awhile. It's nice being able to cross the street to get 40's and the almost refreshing (?) smell of moldy-sweaty-beer-drenched-smoke-filled basement. I'm psyched about my naughty naughty nurses shirt. Work tomorrow night should be slightly more fun than normal, the hold steady are playing and Erica will be there.
Hopefully I'll get my paycheck soon. I need some combat/whatever will make me slightly taller boots.
Fall is bringing good change for me.
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[21 Oct 2007|06:05pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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The mummies - stronger than dirt |
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I've been so busy. My life has been internet free for awhile. Which is a good thing i guess. In some ways. But not having a cell phone + not having internet = Me not being able to keep in touch with pretty much all of my out of state/philly friends.
I Love the shit out of my new job. I'm working at the TLA ( Theater of Live Arts ) on South st as Event staff. I mostly check bags and pat chicks down. My co workers are all amazing. Every single one of them.
I have a crush on one of my co workers,Alex. We hung out all night at work, than went for a walk by the river afterwards, went back to the tla so i could pick my bike and he walked me to the bus stop and waited with me for the bus. The bus didn't come until about an hour later.
I'm so unsure of my plans for Halloween. I want to go to Hallowmas and see all of the people i miss. But The Go team!, The Extraordinaires and Matt and Kim are playing a show in Philly, AT THE TLA. So you know, I'd get in for free since i work there, and get all of my friends in for free AND hang out with alex.
I don't know. I have tons of shit to look forward to.
Tomorrow night,
Julian's playing a show with Lauren Adams, Wildebeest and dragonzord.
This friday,
CRITICAL MASSCARADE! + awesome Halloween party show afterwards with the naughty naughty nurses!
Sunday ( next )
Patton Oswalt at my work. I love getting paid to see patton oswalt.
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[13 Sep 2007|03:23am] |
I played Dungeons and Dragons tonight for the first time. It ruled so hard. My character is awesome.
Earlier in the night i saw Fido with steve and chris.
Jon randomly decided to call rachel and ask her to tell me that he apologizes for being an immature dick. It was pretty unexpected, but it was cool, we hung out last night and had an alright time. I'm glad that we're on good terms again. Shit is going well. I'm looking for a job, and can't wait until my lawsuit money comes through. I'm going to move out as soon as i get that shit.
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[26 Aug 2007|07:20pm] |
My life has been waay too hectic. I'm sick of hospitals. I'm sick of stupid bullshit ass drama over some scumbags.
Julian almost died yesterday. He was doing the summer slam bike race, and at one of the checkpoints, fell off of his bike and had a heat stroke. You know, if it were anyone else i wouldn't be as taken aback. But this is julian! He's like, the ultimate biker, motherfucker can ride circles ( and whatever else ) around damn near anyones ass. Anyway, Caroline and i were sitting on the porch at julians house doing whatever, when chrissy walks up with Julian's bike. and we're both like " shit, why is julians bike here without him? ".
Chrissy told us what happened and we called UPENN to see if he was admitted there. Caroline, myself and Pat all biked over to visit him. I wasn't prepared to see him in that state. He was beyond fucked up. He could barely string together a sentacne, and yet was still perfectly concious. It scared the shit out of caroline and i. we both almost started crying, but held back because we didn't want him to see our reactions and you know, panic. He managed to get say some things, very slowly mind you. One of them was " I have a tube in my penis ". He wasn't very happy about that.
We hung around for awhile and tried to keep him company while the nurses looked him over and whatnot, one of the doctors told us that his fever was at 105, and that they were shocked that he lived through the heat stroke. Julian asked us who won the race, none of us had an answer yet, because we hadn't spoken to anyone else about what happened.
We had to leave when they were going to take him up to get a catscan.
We all headed back to julians house and hung around waiting for Matt and Doug to get back from the race.
They came and told us that Julian had placed 2nd in the race. He would have won the whole goddamn thing if it hadn't been for the heat stroke.
That some impressive fuckin shit. He literally almost died trying to win that race.
The previous night ( Friday ) was amazing. I showed up at LAVA with rachel around 630. we hung out outside with everyone and watched caroline running all over the place trying to get mike out of the kitchen during the cooking for food not bombs. ( Caroline set up a food not bombs benefit show with Julian, The naughty naughty nurses, farcial hoodwink and wingnut dishwashers union. and had an awesome set up from food not bombs ).
The show was awesome. Lauren adams ( naughty naughty nurses ) and pat the bunny ( johnny hobo and the freight trains etc ) came back to julians house with us for the fort building party.
We had some crazy motherfucking forts. Lauren and pat had their own to makeout in. Joy, Rachel, Caroline and i had ours set up in the kitchen. Ren and kevin had theris hanging from the ceiling in the living room, and pat's was in his room on the third floor.
Mike was being a dick and a half and brough the crazy drug dealer from across the street in the house as a " fort judge ". Paraded him through the house and was a total dick to everyone. Judging their forts, knocking things down and claiming that they should have been " sturdier " and more " thought out ".
Everyone had had enough of his bullshit for the night. Pat was really fed up with his shit from the remaining two weeks of mike living in his house and mooching off of them. He flipped the fuck out. He was yelling at the top of his lungs, ( it was around 4am at this point ) and demanded that he get the fuck out of his house and to never bring bob in the house again. Mike refused to leave and said that he wanted a " consenus " before leaving.
For some ungodly reason Doug was sticking up for mike and defending his every move.
A big shit came out of all of this and damn near everyone in the house was woken up by pat freaking out at mike and him refusing to leave.
On top of all of that bullshit, Doug starts shit with me saturday night about drawing a penis on the wall outside of their house with fucking sidewalk chalk.
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[14 Aug 2007|11:28am] |
Talk of the town Sunday night was great.
I biked over to the jewhole around 10 to avoid having to go through west Philly at midnight.
Hung out with Jim and mike for awhile and talked about some interesting things. Julian and Doug got home around the time i was supposed to be leaving.
Called Charles, went over to the station, picked out some records. played them. talked about the town ( and various other goofy things ) took some calls. I enjoyed myself. I was invited back next week. It's so nice to just have access to hundreds of thousands of records.
Maybe this'll turn into a frequent thing and I'll learn more about radio/producing get better at talking to no one in particular at 1 and 2am.
I know most of you guys have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.
This time you jerks should actually listen, and maybe even call in and request a song.
For those of you who didn't listen.. i found a record by a band called "BRUTAL JUICE" and "COWBOY JAZZ". Thats right, you missed that. How about this Sunday you listen instead of jerking your cat off or using that double ended dildo to penetrate both your vagina and asshole at the same time, huh?
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[10 Aug 2007|12:36pm] |
I love these pictures of myself. way to go luke.
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| Job hunting sux |
[06 Aug 2007|11:11am] |
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mood |
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Pissed as bitch |
] |
I was disqualified from this smoking study i was doing because i was once knocked unconscious.
Fuck my tits. Why didn't i just lie? I should have just kept answering "no" to all of the questions. Now I'm fucked out of $350. godammmmit. i wanted to get my film developed today.
I've applied at so many god damn places over the past few days. Hopefully I'll get the bike delivery job.
I finally got my hospital bill. $256. I thought it was going to be at least $1,000 i lucked the fuck out.
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[23 Jul 2007|01:46am] |
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mood |
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 enthralled |
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After this week i don't know what I'm going to do.
I love my friends so much. For awhile there, i didn't think i had any real friends. It was just some random people here and there that I'd hang out with. But man, i know now who my real friends are. I feel so close to these people, and we all click so well.
I always feel like after a period of time has passed thats just been non stop fun, that I won't be able to live up to it. I'm sure a lot of people know this feeling, but i always wind up surpassing it, looking back and being amazed by the things that I've experienced.
I've never been so happy with my life. I feel like I'm doing exciting things, things that make me happy, things i feel good about, things that i can learn and grow from. Experiences that i can gather amazing/hilarious stories from. This summer has just been mind-blowingly incredible so far.
Earlier tonight Steve, Caroline and i biked to south Philly to see the naughty naught nurses.
I was actually glad to be sober. I needed to be for at least one night. We saw Lauren, and hung out with her and Chrissy for awhile out front. Went in and out a few times and than they played.
Lauren's voice is so beautiful and soothing, I'm so fucking glad that I'm friends with her.
Caroline and i challenged her to a fort-off of sorts and planned to make a fort big enough for the naughty naughty nurses to play in.
Tomorrow ( well, technically today ) I'm going to see Superbad. Normally, i wouldn't be so excited about seeing a movie, but this isn't just any movie. and this isn't just any night out at the movies.
First off it's free.
I found some ad on craigslist ( in the free section ) for free passes to a pre-screening of superbad. sweet deal, right?
Well yeah, but i had to bike ride through Kensington ( pretty much the most dangerous part of Philadelphia ) to some shady ass comic book shop to pick up said tickets.
So i find this comic book store (and hope to god that when i walk in it's legit and not some sketchy ass set up to trick people who like awkward humor into an untimely death.)
I go over to the desk and talk to the guy about the tickets, he looks up my name and says " ahh, you're one of the people who reserved the tickets to meet Michael Cera and Jonah Hill after the movie. " and i look at him, and say " Yes sir ". He hands me the tickets, i walk out and quickly head back to Julian's house where there aren't as many crack needles in the streets.
Anyway, I'm really fucking excited about seeing this movie tonight. Than meeting Michael Cera afterwards. I hope he's really as awkward as the majority of his characters portray him to be.
I borrowed some books from Rachel, and I'm looking forward to having something to read at night, or just going to Rittenhouse square to lay in the grass and read. I really want to pick up the new Harry Potter book, but i don't have any money.
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[05 Jul 2007|03:09pm] |
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mood |
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 exciiiiiiiiiiiited |
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4:30 am and of course I'm pussyfootin' around on the internets.
I went to a huge Greek party today somewhere in shitty northeast Philadelphia.
I pretty much knew no one there other than my immediate cousins and about 2 aunts and uncles.
BUT, I've discovered that Greeks make the BEST HUMMUS EVER. EVER!
Anyway, i caught a ride back home with my cousin Bill, Mike and Desi, on the way home some dude crashed into us, awesome! My cousin called the cops we waited for a good 45 minutes and they never showed.. i guess it was in too bad of a neighborhood for them to bother going into.
No one was hurt and we made it home in one piece.
Anyway, Denise is picking Caroline and i up and we're driving up to pottstown together. Today is going to rule.
I officially booked my first show.
I'm proud of myself. and right now, I'm really missing my brown hair.
July 19th @ the Green Line Cafe 6pm ( Please bring donations for the touring bands! )
43rd Baltimore ave across the street from Clark park
Drew and the medicinal pen
http://www.myspace.com/drewhawthorne
Julian Root is ( In Person! )
http://www.myspace.com/julianrootisinperson
Gator Country
http://www.myspace.com/gatorcountrymusic
Feed This End
http://www.myspace.com/feedthisend
Matt Landis
http://www.myspace.com/matthewlandis
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[30 Jun 2007|05:11am] |
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mood |
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Hooray for life being awesome |
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music |
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The max levine ensamble |
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I had a job interview at an expensive/fancy ice cream shop today ( I think It's called Scoop Deville ). It would up being canceled last minute. I got to the place 5 minutes early ( trying to look good, you know? ) and the dude said that Sue ( the woman who was going to be interviewing me ) would be back in 15 minutes... so i went across the street to Buffalo Exchange with Desi and Christina to try and sell some clothes for cash. Didn't sell shit, and it sucked hardcore because that meant that i had to carry around about 10lbs of clothes for the rest of the day throughout the city.
After killing sometime across the street i decided that it was time to check back in at Scoop Deville. I got there and the dude told me that Sue was stuck at the other store and wouldn't be able to make it today to interview me. He re-took down my name and number and said that she was sorry and that she'll reschedule for Monday.
Despite the slight let down with the job interview, the fact that i didn't sell anything and had $2.75 spending money, i had a substantially good day. Desi, Christina and split a falafel from the pita pit and got free coffee from my friend Chris ( who works at a coffee shop ).
I'm working on booking my first show. It's proving to be rather stressful, I've got the lineup ( A good one at that ) I've got the date, now i need a venue. I've got until July 19th to find a place for 5 - 6 bands to play.
If Danger! Danger! and The Be Happy House didn't shut down it wouldn't be a problem at all, But it seems as if a lot of Philadelphia punk houses are having problems and shutting down. Bummer.
New ones are sprouting up more and more everyday though, so i guess it all evens out. Either way, i really need to get on actually booking a house/venue start making up some fliers and getting the word out.
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| guys. |
[19 Jun 2007|02:13am] |
I'm 19.
The only new thing i can do with this age? Purchase cigarettes in New Jersey.
not exciting.
I can't wait to get drunk with my friends and kiss boys.
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[13 Jun 2007|07:58pm] |
I haven't updated in quite a while.
I guess i have a life now.
This past month has been an eventful one. lots of amazing parties, met a lot of great people. and had shit tons of fun.
My favorite place to dumpster closed a few days ago. I'm pretty bummed about that. No more dumpstering awesome books and weird antiques.
About a week ago, Christina and i were on a bike ride and we stopped by dunkin donuts to dumpster some bagels.
So we're inside of the fence that surrounds the dumpsters and Christina pisses next to the dumpster, than we hear someone coming out from the store. It was a little past midnight and we were both surprised that there was anyone left in the store considering it closes at 11.
So the dude starts walking over to the dumpsters, he still hasn't seen us. So we're thinking of what we're going to do, if we should run, hide, or what, our bikes were behind the dumpsters outside of the fence, so we'd have to stop and get them and all. he was getting close so i just opened the gate casually and said " MAN THAT WAS SOME GOOD SEX " following me out christina says "
" Yeah! I'm still wet "
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[13 May 2007|02:36pm] |
I went to the best party ever Friday night.
The theme was : Mad Scientists
Lots of mad science took place.
Experimental drink mixing, drunken inferno sing alongs,
hulk fisting rubber hands
playing volley ball with a giant exercising yoga ball in Julian's house at 4am drunk.
amazing.
i haven't slept much in the past 3 days.
loan's going to be super pissed off at me for not going to her party last night, but i really didn't want to be there. her friends are morons, she's not much of a friend anymore and I'm just not interested in drinking natty ice with a bunch of frat dudes.
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[10 May 2007|11:05pm] |
There have been two shoot-outs this week between 56th - 52nd and market st.
I think it was a good call on my part, not moving there.
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[02 May 2007|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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This new boy who i have a crush on is great.
I'm hoping he'll be at the beerbbq i'm going to this saturday.
Andrew w.k. last night was pretty good.
but the whole time i kept kind of spacing out.
people were asking stupid questions.
I'm thinking 56th and market is a bad idea.
I wish i could just ignore that fact that the chances of me getting raped every night would be roughly 60%.
Ah well, i'll find some place in fishtown for the same price, maybe get lucky and get a side house or something.
I really still want to do the vegan cafe thing.
My aunt might be getting me a digital slr for my birthday.
I'd feel really bad if she did, but at the same time, that'd be such a huge thing.
I'd get the photography job i've wanted and i'd start making $600 a month with that job alone.
I would have no problem paying rent and even saving some money.
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[14 Apr 2007|11:30pm] |
last night was intense. lots of energy and crazy fun.
The china town bus trip back and forth were fantastic.
I sprained my ankle or something, i'm pretty bummed about that, but it'll heal soon.
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[13 Apr 2007|01:32am] |
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yesssssssssssssssssssssssss
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